Buddy's Diary - January 22 - Stories in English of a Rescue Puppy's Life

Improve Your English with Cute, Funny Dog Stories in Simple English

Menace yourself

My EARS! What’s wrong with them?

I was lying peacefully on Girl’s lap, gazing sleepily at the white fluffy things they call sheep in the meadow below, when… “Oh my! Your ears are filthy!” she said. “I need to clean them.”

And before I know it, she’s holding me up and poking some long blue thing into them!

I’m still for a moment, because I’m usually a calm girl. But then I feel its tip tickling the inside of my ear. I go NUTS. No way! Stop that!

“Stay still!” she orders. I won’t. I fight. She turns me around and pins me between her legs. Then she goes at my ears—slowly, calmly, but firmly. I fight and kick with all four legs, but to no avail. She gets her way. I give up and go limp. And then it’s over.

She kisses my head and, disgruntled, I scramble off her lap and run for it. I lie down at a distance, eyeing her suspiciously.

Well, strangely, my ears stopped itching after that. Maybe she was onto something after all…

Eggs, oh no!

I’m obsessed. Those soft, spongy, elastic yellow things she fishes out of the big frying pan and drops onto my plate are DELICIOUS. Divine. Out of this world. I can’t get enough of them.

She starts by giving me one. Just one? Seriously? How stingy! It’s just an appetizer. She laughs and drops another. It vanishes a second later. “Oh, hungry are you?” she asks and gives me one more.

Yum! Thanks. One more, please. Another arrives.

I eat fast. I see she’s eating too, so I have to be quick. If she finishes first, I won’t get any more. I must beat her to it. I chew like a machine. I swallow big pieces. I gulp down such large chunks that some get stuck in my throat and I nearly choke. I’ll let my belly worry about dealing with those.

And my plate is clean. Empty. Again. I look up with big, hopeful, pleading eyes. Please, I whimper. More.

She gives me. She always does.

After six eggs, I grow tired. Sleepy. I lick my lips. I chew the last bits slower, actually taking the time to enjoy their flavors. That’s really nice, actually. Hmm, a little burned and crunchy. Soft and tender in one part. Finally, with a content sigh, I walk away, leaving a few crumbs left. That was good. Very good.

Later, I paw at Girl’s leg when she sits down by her big glowing screen. She smiles and picks me up onto her lap. I happily fall asleep and drift off into a nice, yummy dream—in which I’m eating FORTY eggs!

Just as I’m chewing through the thirty-fifth one, something very strange disturbs my lovely dream…. A hot, smelly wind is blowing on me. All over me. How… unnatural?

I open one sleepy eye and see Girl above me looking down with a scrunched nose and twisted mouth. She is blowing air on me and waving her hand over me in the air.

“Poo. You farty little thing,” she says. “I never imagined something that small could make such a stink.”

I sniff the air. Eggs. Rotten old ones. I look up at her, peeved. Those didn’t go down well with you, I think. Now stop blowing on me. I was just having such a sweet dream. I go back to sleep.

But this time the eggs don’t return. Instead, I’m running in circles in a dark, cold, wet forest, crying, searching for my siblings.

Then—PFFFFFRRRRRRR! BOOM! POOOF!

Something explodes beneath me. Loud. Rumbling. And absolutely foul. It smells of… fermented eggs. Rotten. A million years old. And definitely not something I’d want to eat—or even smell for that matter.

It grows so suffocating that I feel I’m about to choke. To die. To pass out. I open my eyes and awaken back in the real world. And then I hear it again — a low rumble from the bed I’m lying on. I look up at Girl.

“Ooops….” she giggles guiltily. “Guess we both overdosed on eggs today!”

Then she laughs wildly. But I’m not amused. I give a loud, displeased sniff and turn over, nose off her lap, trying to get some clean, breathable air — and hopefully some peaceful sleep. Without my bed gassing me again.

The THING IN MY BED!

It started with rain. Loud tiptap noise all over. Then something else joined in.

Craaaaaaak. Craaaaaaaak. What on earth is that? I lift an ear, tilt my head. I run out to the balcony and sniff the wet, earthy air. It’s dark. I can hear it but I can’t see what it is. There are a few of them.

QUAAAAAAAK. CRRRRRRRAAAAAK. Hmmm, strange things live down there in the big green field.

Girl closes up for the night, and I settle peacefully down in my cozy little red bed. The other night, Girl told me I snore. Loudly. Like an old man. The insult! Since then, she turns on her bedside fan to block out the noise.

I snuggle down in my bed, curled up tight to keep myself warm and tuck my nose into my hind legs. I sigh and am just falling asleep happily when — SCREEEEAM!

Girl gives a shrill howl. SNAP. The dark night vanishes in an instant and a bright yellow light fills the room. I blink sleepily and sit up in confusion, staring at her with big alarmed eyes. She’s sitting in bed, completely alone, but looking rattled.

“It landed on me!” she says, flapping her arm towards the wall.

Not impressed, I settle down again. A few moments later, the world turns dark again. I hear her sheets rustle and then silence. Good. Now I can sleep.

Or so I think.

My eyes close. Warm memories of my siblings’ faces fill my mind and I drift back into an old dreamscape of the past mixed with my longings…. Just as my Momma Dog’s warm muzzle comes down and nuzzles me in my dream, something COLD, WET, AND SLIMY lands on my back.

I give a HOWL and shoot up straight in my little bed.

The dark world instantly turns bright and Girl sits up in bed.

“What’s wrong?” she cries worriedly. I sit frozen, shocked, eyes wide, ears high. Something… was on my back! Very wet, very cold, and very unwelcome!!

She looks at the curtain and laughs. “You too, eh? Calm down, he just wants to cuddle.”

I see a movement and glance up. A little grey-green frog is clinging to the curtain. It leaps, flying through the air and landing behind the cabinet. I stare in curiosity. What was that?

I’ll never know. Because I never see him again.